Confessions of a City Slicker

Last weekend was my second Herbalife Training Seminar.  One thing I noticed is that whenever a speaker goes up on stage, there will be people grabbing their notebooks, diaries, even the pieces of paper that the hotel provided, rushing to the stage for the speakers’ autographs.

The guy sitting beside me asked why I’m not doing the same thing.

"Why?" I asked.

It’s not like I can sell it on eBay and make a lot of money.  Besides, from what I can see, I don’t even think that the signatures are authentic.  They look very hastily scrawled on to me.

I picked up a few interesting facts during the seminar.

=> Herbalife is now the official nutritional advisor and sponsor for LA Galaxy aka David Beckham’s team in the US.  I spotted some people wearing the official jersey with Beckham’s name on it.  I forgot what is the number, but I believe it’s 7 just like Christiano.

=> Sponsoring people and getting new customers are really easy, if you are the people at the top of the food chain.  Of course, these people purposely left out the sacrifices and hardwork that they did to get to the top.

=> It’s all about packaging your story.

=> 50% discount is better than 25% discount, so a distributor’s aim is always to qualify as a supervisor so that they can enjoy the enormous discounts and other benefits that supervisors get.

=> Say the word "Extravaganza" and the people will go wild.

=> An Extravaganza is this really big conference that only supervisors & above get to attend.  It will be a regional affair and this year it will be held in Bangkok.  There will be seminars, parties and really fun activities that allows plenty of networking opportunities.

=> If you attend the Extravaganza, you can be sure that you get to learn from the best people because only the best of the best, ie the top earners in the business get to be their speakers.  These are also the people who get to fire their bosses and take up the business full time.

=> From the pictures, the seminars look like a rock concert.  People sit stadium style in a really big auditorium and if you sit at the back then I doubt you get to see much of the action on stage because it will be too far away.

=> To qualify as a supervisor, you need to make an order of 4,000 volume points in a single calendar month, which is around RM14k investment.

=> Some people are willing to take the risk and invest the amount (some of which they don’t have) in products, then slowly sell them off.  Me, I’m a coward when it comes to money.  I don’t fork out that much cash unless I am sure of the ROI.  Besides, having that much funds tied up in products indefinitely doesn’t sit comfortably with me.

Hmm…I wonder if one fine day, I will get my turn up on that stage?  Yeah, that would be really cool.

I was invited to a dinner hosted by YB RSN Rayer in thanksgiving for winning the general elections.  Of course, YB Karpal Singh was also there.

I must say, YB Karpal is the politician that I respect the most.  Heck, I learned his name before I even knew who the Prime Minister was.  So the DAP logo is the one that I identify with most.

Heh, this is the closest I got to him that night.

He may be confined to a wheelchair right now, but when he speaks, people listen.  I think not a person in that hall ate a bite while he was speaking despite having food in front of them.

For his age, his voice is still strong and commands attention.  Really a "Harimau" as most of his peers will call him.

And I absolutely appreciate that he is a principled man.  The first thing he said was that we don’t want or need the turn coats from the "other" party.

Although their support will help the opposition to form the government, YB Karpal feels that there’s plenty of time to do that and therefore, no need to rush.

He’s absolutely right.  After all, the opposition has just taken over.  They should take their time to get settled in first before worrying about forming the government.

Another purpose of the evening is for YB Rayer to show his appreciation to all the people who have supported him during his campaign and election.

I’m surprised he remembered me when we had just chatted briefly during polling day when I showed up at his house to get my necessary papers before heading to the polling center.

It was nice that he gave us each a sourvenir of appreciation.

This commemorative plague is now displayed proudly on the bar counter of the apartment.  I’ll have to fight with Mom to keep it there.

Since winning in the elections they have set up a service center at the Jalan Gangsa Market, aka Ang Thor Sua to the folks who live in the area.

If you read YB Rayer’s blog, you will see that DAP has done a lot of good for the people in Penang but they were never reported in the media.  Biasa lah…

Got more pics from Tai Mai’s engagement ceremony.  These are definitely clearer than the ones taken from my phone

Here’s the blushing bride.  Isn’t she sweet?  Heheheh in the office she’s a totally different person.  Explicit instructions were given before the ceremony that she must act shy and demure.

I missed this shot.  The exchange of fruits symbolizes the families welcoming their new members.

Here’s a clear shot of the happy couple.  I stand by my opinion that Mr Tai Mai bears an uncanny resemblance to a very famous motivational guru.

AND FINALLY…

Here’s yours truly busy taking notes on my cell.  Ha ha…I love my phone!  Sure makes taking notes on the fly easy because I don’t have to look for pen and paper.

Got more pics from Tai Mai’s engagement ceremony.  These are definitely clearer than the ones taken from my phone

Here’s the blushing bride.  Isn’t she sweet?  Heheheh in the office she’s a totally different person.  Explicit instructions were given before the ceremony that she must act shy and demure.

I missed this shot.  The exchange of fruits symbolizes the families welcoming their new members.

Here’s a clear shot of the happy couple.  I stand by my opinion that Mr Tai Mai bears an uncanny resemblance to a very famous motivational guru.

AND FINALLY…

Here’s yours truly busy taking notes on my cell.  Ha ha…I love my phone!  Sure makes taking notes on the fly easy because I don’t have to look for pen and paper.

It’s just after lunch and I can’t believe that my Monday Blues is starting already.  That dull ache that will escalate into a full-blown throbbing headache by the end of the day started even before I crawled out of bed this morning.

Must be due to missing my Sunday nap marathon yesterday because I spent half the day at the Herbalife seminar.

That’s why my Sundays are so precious to me.  It’s the only day of the week that I get to fully recharge my batteries.

I love my Sunday evenings spent pampering myself from head to toe with an at home facial, treating my hair to some TLC and added nutritious goodness, mani and pedi and even giving my skin some nourishment.

Mostly being lazy and indulging ME.

Can’t wait for this day to be over.  Even spending some time in the massage chair didn’t help.  I think I need to call it an early night tonight.  I meant to take some work home to do tonight but now it doesn’t seem likely.

Sigh…anyone know of a cure for Monday Blues?

This is the latest song by One Republic.  Every time it comes on over the radio the DJs can’t help themselves but remark at how well it reflects a very unique Malaysian culture.

They are, of course, referring to that very contagious habit of stopping and staring at an accident or broken down vehicle on the road, especially during rush hour that inevitably causes a traffic jam that can span several highways and last for hours after the vehicle in question has been removed.

To some people, this habit is even more severe.  They not only stop and stare, they also take pictures or videos of the whole incident.  Another group takes this even further by noting down the numbers of the vehicles to buy the lottery!

They should change the lyrics of this song especially for the Malaysian market.  Maybe they can do something like:

"Stop and stare

And take plenty of pictures while you’re there"

LOL

Another habit that Malaysians are really champion at, according to said radio station, is the art of double parking.  We are so creative that we can also masuk our cars even when there are no parking spaces available.  We practically redefine the art of double parking.

We create jams that last for 50 minutes simply because we want to stop and buy a roti canai.

This is the reason why I don’t park in front of my office building even if there is a space available.  Every day we will hear annoyed people blowing their horns trying to get the attention of the idiots who double park next to their vehicles.

The worst part is the idiots don’t immediately come to remove their vehicles.  There have been times when people were made to wait for half an hour under the hot sun while these idiots enjoy their café latte at Starbucks or something.

It wouldn’t be so bad if they had left a companion waiting in their car or if they had just wanted to pop into the 7-Eleven to buy something.  Nope, I’ve seen people who work at one of the franchises downstairs double park when they will be there for like the whole day.

Yay, Malaysia really boleh at creating our very unique cultures, huh?

Let’s face it…..humans are perculiarly drawn to the strange and weird things in life, sometimes, bordering on the creepy.

Otherwise, people like PT Barnum and Robert Ripley will be out of business and nobody will give two hoots about strange lights in the sky.

I recently came across a number of sites in cyberspace devoted to such topics, a few of which stood out because they were darn right morbid.  I was going through a course by one of the top internet marketers in the region and he was making a point about creative marketing, but that’s another story.

One of them, I find myself helpless drawn to like a moth to a flame.  I don’t know why, but every time I see it’s URL on my web browser, my fingers itch to click on it and go visit.

"Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t have people over", the headline on the site said.

As you can probably guess, the site talks about the very controversial topic of death.  Some of us say the "D" word in hushed tones, maybe in case it finds us, maybe because it will affect our feng shui, yet there are others who talk about it with such fascination, as if they can’t wait to get there.

Maybe this latter group of people are on to something.  No matter what we do, the Grim Ripper will come knocking on our door sooner or later.

Question is, what happens to our earthly bodies after that?  Well, this site deals with that.

I’m not going to put the URL here because some people might find it offensive, but the purpose of this site is after somebody dies, they put a head cam in the coffin and the video feed is streamed live on the site so that visitors can see the corpse and the decomposing process in all its glory or gore, depending on how you look at it.

Who would be so nuts to do something like that????  Well, you’d be surprised because they claim to have secured gravesites in the Phillipines and several other countries.  They have even won a lawsuit to continue streaming the live feeds.

Their latest subject is a female who died of natural causes aged 41.  Right now, the corpse hasn’t decomposed yet, but I guess it depends on how good the embalmer is.

Why do I want to go visit this site?  Honestly, I don’t know.  I find some things absolutely revolting, but that doesn’t stop me from sneaking a peek when I encounter them.

Of course, it doesn’t help that the radio is promoting Over Her DEAD BODY the whole day today, so it’s kind of a reminder to go see how the corpse is doing.

And well, what if you do see a decomposing corpse?  Grissom once said on CSI that it’s just Mother Nature’s way of returning us to the earth from whence we came from.  It’s all part of the cycle of nature.

Besides, you’ll be dead by then.  You’d have no use for this earthly body when that time comes.

Personally, I do have this thing about being sealed in a box and kept in the ground for years and years.  When my time comes, cremate me and scatter my ashes somewhere cold.

It always irks me how some people, even those who have been using Microsoft Words for years, don’t know this simple function.

Imagine this.  They finished typing something and end up with maybe half a page of emptiness.  So what do they do?

They keep pressing ENTER until they reach the next page.

Folks, let me introduce you this nifty little function called the "Page Break".  If you don’t know where it is, go to your Insert Menu.  You should be able to see Page Break listed in the pull down menu.

The coolest part is, you don’t even have to go to the Insert menu.  Just press Ctrl + ENTER and voila!  A page break.

Here’s why you would want to use page breaks.  Imagine you have just written a 50 page document with lots of empty spaces in between.  Then when going through the document, you find that you have to make some additions to page 10, making it longer by a few lines.

Now, you have to adjust the other pages from page 10 onwards because of those additional few lines.

With a page break, the other pages will not be affected.  Imagine all the time you get to save.

Also, this is rare but it has happened, sometimes alignment will run for the same document when 2 copies of it are opened on different computers.

Sometimes, you finish a section of your document near the end, maybe the last couple of lines of a page, then start a new title in a new page.

Occassionally, you will see the title of the new page has run up to the previous page on 1 computer while it is in the new page in another computer.

But if you had a page break there, then you won’t have this problem.

So folks, now that I have introduced this nifty little feature to you, try to use it more often, huh?  Believe me, ever since I discovered it, I just can’t live without it.

It will help make life easier for the people editing your work

I came across this site that donates rice to the poor while giving visitors the opportunity to inprove their vocabulary.

FreeRice.com is a sister site to Poverty.com.  It donates rice to poor nations through the UN’s World Food Program.  The rice is paid for by the sponsors who advertise on their site.

I think this is a wonderful idea.  It’s true, what they said on the site.  Whether you are a CEO in a large corporation or a street child in a poor country, we all can do with a better vocabulary.

Since I love word games, I think I will be making frequent visits to this site.

For every correct answer, 20 grains of rice are donated.  There are altogether 55 levels in the game.  So far my best is 38.

I was going to try the Laotian Laksa at The No Eye Deer during Steph’s birthday but as fate would have it, I had a fever on that day.  So I had to curb my craving for a couple of weeks at least until I make a full recovery.

Laksa, after all, is something one can only enjoy when both the olfactory senses and taste buds work together in perfect harmony to fully indulge in the different aromas and subtle layers of flavor in the soup.

Ai caramba, mama mia, niama leh, just thinking about it makes me drool already.

My Grandma used to make this really delicious laksa but too bad, when she passed away, she kinda took the recipe with her.

Making laksa is a lot of work and it’s not exactly something that you can make for just 1 or 2 persons.  If you want to make laksa, you’d better be prepared to feed a large group.

I remember, during my childhood days, Grandma would make laksa every time Grandpa comes back from one of his fishing trips.

I used to beg him to take me with him, but now that I know better, I wonder why.  Fishing is so boring.  Hehehehe, no offense to all my fisherman friends out there.

But seriously, what can be so fascinating about going out to sea or the river at the crack of dawn or middle of the night, depending on which group you are from, to be toasted by the sun or become mosquito food?  Then what do you talk about or do on the sampan while waiting for the fish to bite?  I know some are very pantang about making any kind of noise in case you scare away the fish :p

Ok, ok, I can start to hear the fishermen starting to riot and getting ready to throw shoes, eggs, rotten vegetables and what have yous at me, but hey, I’m entitled to my opinion :p

Anyway, the laksa from No Eye Deer is suppose to contain beef, which is the first time I’ve heard of for laksa.

From what I remember about the preparations from my childhood days, it includes cooking the fish then peeling them.  Me, being the tham chiak kid that I was, will be sneaking a bite or two of the peeled fish.

Then there are the aliens (vegetables to the rest of the world) which include cucumber, lemon grass, pineapple, mint leaves, bunga kantan and something else I don’t eat.

Nowadays, there are only a few places with acceptable laksa.  One of them is the stall at the Balik Pulau market.  There is another quite good one in Balik Pulau’s Sungai Pinang area.  Of course eating there is a once a year affair for me when I do get invited to Balik Pulau during Hari Raya.

That is because although I have lived on my tiny island all my life, I haven’t the faintest idea how to get to Balik Pulau on my own (blush).

Other than that it will be at the Ayer Itam market (although I heard that one has deteriorated in quality) and another stall in a kopitiam in Gottlieb Road.

I like my laksa with lots of heh koh even though I’m allergic to prawns and it makes my tongue and the area around my mouth itch.

What about you?