Confessions of a City Slicker

Affirmations to Kickstart Your Day

Post on October 31st, 2007 by doggiesworld

Now I am the VOICE

I will CREATE, not destroy

I am a FORCE for good

I will LEAD, not follow

I am a LEADER

Set a new STANDARD

DEFY the odds

Step up!

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Of Andre Agassi and a Brick Wall

Post on October 30th, 2007 by doggiesworld

Been meaning to share this for some time now, just didn’t have the time to write about it.

This is what I think is the simplest and most valuable piece of advice that Anthony Robbins shared during his recent seminar in Singapore.

"If you want to change your outcome, change your physiology or shift your focus"

So what does Andre Agassi and a brick wall have to do with this?

Agassi took on Anthony Robbins as a life coach during his losing streak. What Anthony Robbins did was show Agassi a video tape of his match when he won the Wimbledon and showed him another one during his losing streak.

During the Wimbledon match Agassi walked out onto the court full of confidence, took off his cap briefly and patted the back of his neck a couple of times (this seems to be his signature), and stared hard at his oponent before serving the first ball.

When he compared that to the game during Agassi’s losing streak he found a big difference. In the second video Agassi walked lethargically onto the court, shoulders slumped, head bowed. He just proceeded to play the game but definitely missing the fire in the first video.

What we can learn here is it doesn’t really matter how good we are in what we do, our body language when we are doing it also plays a part in affecting the outcome.

To prove this he made us talk to each other first as if we didn’t believe in what we were talking about, then as if it’s a matter of life or death. Our partners will observe our facial expressions and body language as we talk. True enough, in the second scenario a lot of us were very convincing even though we don’t know what the heck we were talking about in the first place. Heck, points of argument were just coming to me out of nowhere.

I had the chance to use this during a recent seminar held by my boss where I was required to talk to people and sell my boss’ workshop. Although I didn’t manage to get anyone to sign up, but by being aware of my body language, facial expression and tone of voice, I felt more confident to approach these people and carry out a conversation with them.

And what about the brick wall? Well, Anthony Robbins wanted to learn to race cars so he approached a friend of his who took him to a track. Took him round the track once to show him the way. On this race track is a brick wall which you have to drive around at high speed.

What his friend did not tell him is somewhere under the passenger seat is a button. When Anthony Robbins is driving the car, when he least expects it, his friend will press that button and it will cause the car to spin out of control. Talk about adrenalin junkie!

Now, what the driver has to do is to gain control of the car or else it will most certainly hit the brick wall. The way to do this, according to his friend, is to not focus on the brick wall but to focus away from it. This is based on the theory that most drivers usually unconsciously drive towards something they are focused on.

So off they go, and when the button was pushed, Anthony Robbins found that in the heat of the moment, all he could do was look at the brick wall coming right at them. His friend kept pushing his face to look away. Somehow, they managed to avoid the wall and drove the car to safety.

Anthony Robbins thinks this is a great metaphor for life itself. In our lives there will always be times when we are in a car spinning out of control about to hit a brick wall. If we continue to focus on the brick wall, then 100% we will smash into it. But if we focus else where, there is a chance that we will miss it altogether. Of course, there will be times when hitting that wall is unavoidable, after all, that is life.

So the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t look at the brick wall, look elsewhere and try to drive towards that path. Just don’t end up missing a brick wall only to hit a tree!

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I’m Sorry I Wasn’t Supportive

Post on October 26th, 2007 by doggiesworld

I have known her since we were 7 years old. She had been my by my side through the many trials in my life.

Heck, she introduced me to the clubbing scene. We would hit every club there is along the Batu Ferringhi seafront together every weekend.

She was there during my baptism, when I officially embraced Jesus.

I couldn’t have handled my breast cancer scare without her helping me through it.

When Baby died I was a wreck, crying my eyes out for months but she would call me every other day trying to cheer me up and even offering to find me a new puppy. "Ramblings of a simple minded fool", that’s what I thought at the time.

Yes, that’s who she is. She’s somewhat simple minded but her heart is in the right place.

I had been neglecting her these past few years. I can’t even remember when was the last time we talked. It’s not because I was too busy with my life, I just gave up on her, plain and simple.

While I did fairly well for myself, she had been drifting from job to job over the years, never successfully holding down one for very long.

I think I must have nagged her until I’m blue in the face every time she got fired yet again, but she never changed. In the end, I gave up because I was starting to feel like the parent in this relationship.

Then just a few days ago I received news that her mother had passed away and when I learned of the circumstances leading up to it, I realized what kind of life she must have had.

When you live with a relative who is unwell, taking care of them 24/7, it either makes you stronger or it takes all the fight out of you. For her, it seems to be the latter.

I realized that I had been judging her based on my own standards when I should have seen things from her point of view. Isn’t this the same thing that I had been fighting with my parents about all these years? They wanted me to get a job that will bring in the money and I just wanted a job I am happy in. Unconsciously I had been forcing my parents’ point of view on her.

I wanted things for her that I believe she should have, not the things she wanted to have.

I’m sorry for condemning her every time she lost her job when I should be more supportive and encourage her to do better in her next one.

I’m sorry for being such a judgemental friend when she obviously really needed someone to talk to.

I’m sorry for trying to turn her into someone whom I think she should be and not someone she wants to be.

I’m sorry for abandoning her as soon as I found another group of more happening friends.

When I saw her at her mother’s wake, it was like these past few years of being out of touch never happened. She was happy to see me and we talked like it was old times.

I promise! I’m going to be more supportive of her from now on. I’m not going to frown with disapproval when she loses another job. I’m not going to roll my eyes when she says something that to me is nonsensical.

Most of all, I’m going to let her live her life the way she is happy with and not force my views on her.

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