Confessions of a City Slicker

It’s amazing how the rest of my family, relatives included are so "Brady Bunch" clean cut, yet out pops yours truly, totally wild and defiantly adamant about being different.

Amongst Mom’s many complaints:

• Look at your brother, already staying in his own place, not parents’ place or rental, but his own place.  Sheesh!  So what?!  At least I don’t have to contend with all that mortgage payment shit.
• Your brother already has a good job with an obscene salary but is now considering employment overseas to earn even more.  That’s drive for you!  Riiiiigggttttt.  And every minute he’s busting his ass for $$$$ is another minute of his life gone.  Is it worth it?
• Look at your cousin, fresh graduate and so much younger than you yet already has her life planned.  You (rolls eyes), you’re still drifting about like floatsam with not a clue about what you want to do with yourself.  Actually, I do!  I wanna enjoy and LIVE every minute of my life.  If it means having less ambition compared to the rest of them slaves, so be it.  Carpe Diem!!!!!!

Here’s a glimpse of what family gatherings are like for me.

• My mom will be gathered with her sisters talking about their auntie things.
• Dad together with my uncles talking their uncle things.
• My married female cousins will be grouped together talking about their blissful Boring Tai Tai lives (that means raising kids, cleaning house, changing diapers, more kids stories)
• My unmarried female cousins will most probably be grouped together with the above group because they desperately wanna be in the above group.  DESPERATE being the operative word here.
• My guy cousins will be grouped together talking about, well, the usual.  Think this is the only group I can communicate with.
• My nieces and nephews will be running and screaming all over the place.  OK, I’m not crazy about kids and will probably never be, until they go to college or loose their virginity.
• Then there is me, sitting quietly in my dark corner thinking, "Aww crap, I am in hell!  PLEASE GOD, deliver me to my salvation!"

There is no way I can talk to them about the things I’ve done without their eyes popping out and mom throwing a fit.  If this were the middle ages, I have no doubt my lifestyle wil result in my banishment from the village, or if it were China, being put in a pig cage and thrown into the river.

Thank God I have a wonderful group of friends who can introduce and share these experiences with me.  You guys make being the blacksheep something to be proud of

It’s amazing how the rest of my family, relatives included are so "Brady Bunch" clean cut, yet out pops yours truly, totally wild and defiantly adamant about being different.

Amongst Mom’s many complaints:

• Look at your brother, already staying in his own place, not parents’ place or rental, but his own place.  Sheesh!  So what?!  At least I don’t have to contend with all that mortgage payment shit.
• Your brother already has a good job with an obscene salary but is now considering employment overseas to earn even more.  That’s drive for you!  Riiiiigggttttt.  And every minute he’s busting his ass for $$$$ is another minute of his life gone.  Is it worth it?
• Look at your cousin, fresh graduate and so much younger than you yet already has her life planned.  You (rolls eyes), you’re still drifting about like floatsam with not a clue about what you want to do with yourself.  Actually, I do!  I wanna enjoy and LIVE every minute of my life.  If it means having less ambition compared to the rest of them slaves, so be it.  Carpe Diem!!!!!!

Here’s a glimpse of what family gatherings are like for me.

• My mom will be gathered with her sisters talking about their auntie things.
• Dad together with my uncles talking their uncle things.
• My married female cousins will be grouped together talking about their blissful Boring Tai Tai lives (that means raising kids, cleaning house, changing diapers, more kids stories)
• My unmarried female cousins will most probably be grouped together with the above group because they desperately wanna be in the above group.  DESPERATE being the operative word here.
• My guy cousins will be grouped together talking about, well, the usual.  Think this is the only group I can communicate with.
• My nieces and nephews will be running and screaming all over the place.  OK, I’m not crazy about kids and will probably never be, until they go to college or loose their virginity.
• Then there is me, sitting quietly in my dark corner thinking, "Aww crap, I am in hell!  PLEASE GOD, deliver me to my salvation!"

There is no way I can talk to them about the things I’ve done without their eyes popping out and mom throwing a fit.  If this were the middle ages, I have no doubt my lifestyle wil result in my banishment from the village, or if it were China, being put in a pig cage and thrown into the river.

Thank God I have a wonderful group of friends who can introduce and share these experiences with me.  You guys make being the blacksheep something to be proud of

Folks, remember when we were kids, if we had a fever  Grandma will take out this porcelein spoon and vigorously scrape our backs to release all the "heat"?

I had this similar treatment yesterday which they called "Hot Back Treatment".  No, I don’t have a fever.  I signed up for this spa package from this place in my office building.  When they said Hot Back Treatment, I immediately thought about that relaxing therapy I had in Thailand many years ago where they put hot rocks on your back.  Little did I know how dead wrong I was.

The massage was very nice, loosened all the muscles on my back.  Didn’t realize I had so many knots back there.  Then came the shocker.  Instead of rocks, the masseuse took out this clay thingy that generates heat and started running it up and down my back.  The passage wasn’t smooth.  Even I can feel it.  That means there are blockages in the flow of energy.  The fact that the skin on my back reddens immediately tells her that I also have a lot of heat in my system.

Was it painful?  Definitely!  I had gone from being all relaxed to being tensed all over again but when she stopped there was a nice, soothing tingling on my back and I can actually feel the blood flow.  Wow!

The verdict?  I have plumbing problems.  Take care of that and I should have a healthier body.

When I checked out my back in the mirror, it looked like someone had been riding a bicycle over it.  Yech!  No backless tops for me for a few days.

I’m not one to balk about taking my clothes off in front of people, as long as it’s the right company ;)  Girlfriends who go on holidays with me will find me walking around our hotel room in my unmentionables.  And I don’t mind sharing a dressing room with friends in shopping malls.  It beats waiting in line for an available dressing room, especially if there’s a sale.

So it was with some amusement for me to watch my friend squeal and run off when I started to take my top off in our hotel room.  That despite the all female company.  Earlier she had confessed to us how traumatized she was when she had to take her clothes off at her doctor’s office.

I wonder how she would have reacted had she been in my shoes many years back when I had my surgery, having to expose my boobs first to a doctor, then a surgeon, and finally, the surgeon and his team.  Granted, I wasn’t so cavalier about it back then, but I didn’t have a choice.

Anyway, she managed to snap this pic before running off

I’m not one to balk about taking my clothes off in front of people, as long as it’s the right company ;)  Girlfriends who go on holidays with me will find me walking around our hotel room in my unmentionables.  And I don’t mind sharing a dressing room with friends in shopping malls.  It beats waiting in line for an available dressing room, especially if there’s a sale.

So it was with some amusement for me to watch my friend squeal and run off when I started to take my top off in our hotel room.  That despite the all female company.  Earlier she had confessed to us how traumatized she was when she had to take her clothes off at her doctor’s office.

I wonder how she would have reacted had she been in my shoes many years back when I had my surgery, having to expose my boobs first to a doctor, then a surgeon, and finally, the surgeon and his team.  Granted, I wasn’t so cavalier about it back then, but I didn’t have a choice.

Anyway, she managed to snap this pic before running off

Technology has made a lot of things easier for us these day.  This includes writing.  In the old days if people need to get something on paper, they pick up a pen and write them down, even if it is a 60 page report.

The dawn of the typewriting age takes the load off some of those things.  I really admire the secretaries of those days, using those manual typewriters that require users to strike each key with Herculean strength.  Yet these early day typists still manage to achieve the speed of 60 or more WPM.  Still, any typo must be corrected by erasing (white off hasn’t been invented yet).  Over erasing will usually leave holes in the paper which means that the whole page must be typed all over again.  I was lucky that when I started my secretarial course, electronic typewriters and computers were already widely available.

Of course with these modern conveniences available, people are writing less.  By writing, I mean actually taking up a pen and putting things on paper by hand.  Why bother with messy handwriting when documents can be printed neatly?

I am guilty of that.  There was a time when I insisted on printing or typing with every opportunity possible.  It got so bad that when I went to sit for an exam, I was struggling during the first 1/2 hour or so.  Suddenly, holding a pen was something so alien to me that I had to take the time to reacquaint myself.  By the end of the exam, my wrist was aching and I found that my handwriting had deteriorated to that of a kindergarten kid.

It’s a pity, really.  A handwritten letter or note certainly adds a personal touch to it as opposed to something printed or emailed.  I’m not talking about those 60 pages reports, of course.  Nowadays, it would just be plain nuts to write something that long by hand :)))

I went to restock my concealer supply yesterday when it started calling out to me.  "Walk away!", my mind kept telling me, but my feet wouldn’t budge.  That sultry seductive voice was always my undoing.  I imagine, no, fantasize walking around with it’s effect on my lips.

Will it be just a natural rosy hue?  A sweet pink that makes them look plump and juicy?  A sultry siren calling out to be kissed?  Or something more dramatic, like a homing beacon that can be seen miles away?

Gingerly, I tested it to my hand, see the color play under the lights.  Wonderful how the red and brown tones blend together to create this gorgeous color.  "Gorgeous" is its name.

By then there is no question about it.  Georgeous is coming home with me ",  That despite the fact that my bag is already filled to the breaking point with lipstick.

Oh temptation, thy name is lipstick!

Hehe, no this isn’t my dog.  Wish it were, though.  Saw its pics in Yahoo! and couldn’t resist sharing them here.  The little darling has a heart on its coat. 

Coincidence or fake?  Doesn’t matter, my heart just got stollen………

Today marks the start of a new chapter of my working life as I embark on a journey with a new company.  I’m really excited about this new move as there will be new skills to learn.  I will get the opportunity to hone my writing skills – very important if I really want to take up blogging seriously.

For some time now I have wondered how I my one strength, good command of the English language, can be used to further my career.  My love for English was fed by my addiction to the TV, I guess.  I’ve always felt more at ease expressing myself in English than any other language.  As a writer, this will be my chance and I’m really looking forward to it.

My new colleagues and boss are really cool people.  There are no restrictive rules and regulations common in big companies.  Best of all, my new office is less than 5 minutes drive from my apartment.  There is no basement parking, but I’m not complaining, as I save on parking fees   I look forward to having my lunch at home and the possibility of a shower.  Ha ha……

Tomorrow I plan to have breakfast at one of the cafes facing the seafront with a view of Penang Bridge.  Man, life is good!

I was looking forward to going to the gym yesterday for the new Body Combat launching.  Unfortunately, that was not to be.  I was halfway there already, in the heart of town, in fact, when this huge earth shattering stomach ache started.  You know the kind - growling sound in the stomach, your legs start to feel clammy and cold sweat on your brow.

What do you do in this kind of situation?  You’re stuck in traffic in the heart of town with no toilet in sight, at least, a toilet acceptable for me to use.

I had 3 options:-

1. Continue my journey to the gym and crap in the toilet there
2. Detour to my ex office and use the next door hotel’s toilet
3. Head back home for a comfortable crapping session

Any one of those options will lead to 1 result - a stink so horrible, people within the vicinity will have wear HazMat suits or faint.  Of course I chose option no 3.

Good thing it was still early and there was not much traffic.  Also a good thing yours truly is an expert at holding it in.

At least I made it to Body Step.